(no subject)

So the single greatest joke (most satirical, best pun ever) is not reaching enough people. This is from Vine Deloria Jr’s book, Custer Died for Your Sins.

Popovi Da, the great Pueblo artist, was quizzed one day on why the Indians were the first ones on this continent. “We had reservations,” was his reply.

Right on this joke’s heels, in second place (from the same book):

During the 1964 elections Indians were talking in Arizona about the relative positions of the two candidates, Johnson and Coldwater. A white man told them to forget about domestic policies and concentrate on the foreign policies of the two men. One Indian looked at him coldly and said that from the Indian point of view it was all foreign policy.

Shakespeare couldn’t reach such levels, y’all.

books meme

1. Hardback or paperback? This really depends on the book. I’d say what’s more important is the size of the book and the purpose. For instance, why were my science textbooks in college printed on high quality paper when that stuff is frequently updated while my English anthologies, containing works of literature that, y’know, don’t change, printed on cheap paper? I mean, we know why, but still…

2. Borrow or buy? Borrow usually, but cheap ebooks have made it more likely that I’ll buy.

3. Fantasy or sci-fi? Sci-fi

4. Love-triangle or love at first sight? Yeah, fanfiction has raised the bar, so really? Neither.

5. Wall shelves or bookcases? I’m such a slob that I don’t have either.


6. Bad plot with good characters or good plot with bad characters? Well, if one is really good it can make me forgive the other being neglected, but if the characters aren’t at least relate-able, I’m likely to abandon the story.

7. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson? I’ve only read Harry Potter

8. Booklr or bookstagram? Well, what is with these newfangled contraptions?

9. Contemporaries or fantasy? Contemporaries

10. English books or books in your native language? Generally English, as English happens to be my first language. However, sometimes a book in French is easier to understand than a book in English, as is the case with Discovering Statistics Using IBM SPSS Statistics.

11. Buy in a bookshop or buy online? Online, because I live about 100 miles from a bookshop. Also, online offers almost everything either used or in ebook form, which tends to be less expensive.

12. Amazon or Book Depository? The internet tells me that Amazon has eaten Book Depository. I am such a whore to capitalism that I didn’t even know.

13. Buy because of the cover or because of the description? Description, always. The cover can be a good hook, but does not seal the deal.

14. Alphabetical shelves or colour coordinated? If I had shelves, it would be by genre or size.

15. different sized books or matching sizes? Different sized

16. Wait to marathon a series or read as they’re released? Usually read as they’re released

17. Movie or tv adaptations? Usually neither.

18. Zombies or vampires? I am burned out on both of these, though seeing a unique spin on one can pull me in.

19. Reading indoors or outdoors? Indoors.

20. Coffee or tea? Yes.

21. Bookmarks or random objects to mark your page? Random objects.

22. Dog-earing or bookmarks? Bookmarks

23. Be your favourite character or be their best friend? I don’t usually play favorites.

24. Physical or e-book? Increasingly ebooks, because they are often cheaper, are in my hands in literal seconds, take up less space in a carry-on, and don’t get lost in my house. This is especially good when it comes to textbooks. The major drawback is that it’s much more annoying to “flip through” an ebook, especially if I’m trying to find notes for class.

25. Read in bed or on a chair? On a chair. I can’t get into a comfortable position reading in bed. I also just prefer to keep the bed for two purposes, neither of which is reading.

26. Audiobook or ebook? This is a strange choice because they have different purposes to me. Audiobooks are for driving or if one isn’t into reading or has some difficulty/disability. I love reading, don’t have a visual disability, and don’t spend a lot of time driving on long-distance trips, so ebooks.

27. Series or stand-alones? If I have to choose, I’ll choose stand-alones. I read series as well though.

28. Reading in the winter or reading in the summer? I read year-round.
Tags:

Fyi

I've been on dreamwidth for years. exbex.dreamwidth.org. hmu if you'd like. I don't know how much posting i'll be doing in either place, but itspossible that my dw will become themore active of the two

EOY meme

I done stole this from spencer5460

1.     Where did you begin 2016? At home.

2. Did you have to go to the hospital? No.

3. Did you have any encounters with the police? Yes. But as I am white and female it was only mildly embarrassing instead of being terrifying. The cemetery in my town is a popular place for walkers (not zombies, but people who like to get exercise via walking), and in the middle of July, I prefer to walk at 2:00 AM. (Because it’s hot AF). Well, apparently the cemetery closes at midnight, so I got caught, had to show my I.D., was asked to leave.

4. Where did you go on vacation? British Columbia and Michigan.

5. What did you purchase that was over $500? I bought a car, plane tickets, and snow tires. Also tuition.

6. Did you know anybody who got married? Yes.

7. What sporting events did you attend? None.

8. What concerts/shows did you go to? None. (Damn, I need to get out more).

9. Where do you live now? Wyoming

10. Describe your birthday: I don’t really celebrate, though I know I was off work, because it was over the Thanksgiving holiday, so I’m sure it was spent reading, writing, working out, surfing the internet.

11. What’s the one thing you thought you would never do, but did in 2016? I saw some bears in the wild and managed not to soil myself. I literally stepped in a pile of bear shit and thought to myself “wow, that’s an awfully large cow pile. Wait, I’m in British Columbia, that’s not cow shit.” Two days later I had to maneuver the car around a bear that was crossing the road and had no interest in stopping. Why did the bear cross the road? Because it mother-fucking can. Because it’s a bear. Bears have no fucks to give.

12. What’s something you learned about yourself? See my AMA post.

13. Any new additions to your family? No. Only some losses.

14. What was your best month? Probably May. I had transferred from the high school to the alternative high school and graduation, for the first time in my career, was much more personal, given the nature of alternative high schools.

15. What music will you remember 2016 by? I never remember songs by the year. But maybe Beyonce’s “Daddy Lessons”.

16. Made new friends? No.

17. Favorite night out? Had some good ones with my favorite coworkers (both of whom either got transferred or quit, of course).

18. Any regrets? I’m not sure. I kind of wish I had showed less deference at work, though I probably was correct to show the amount of deference I did show.

19. What do you want to change in 2017? My overall health.

20. Overall, how would you rate this year? Well, it was difficult at times, but ultimately I came out stronger.

21. Other than home, where did you spend most of your time? At work, of course.

22. Change your hairstyle? No

23. Buy a new car? Yes. It’s a 2015, but new to me, obvs. Also the newest car I have ever owned.

24. Any car accidents? No

25. How old did you turn this year? 35

26. Do you have a New Year’s resolution? No. I make changes as I see fit (or try to) irrespective of the time of year. New Year’s resolutions also place too much pressure.

27. Do anything embarrassing? Of course. Screwing up at work, looking like a n00b while traveling, the aforementioned encounter with the police.

28. Be honest - did you watch American Idol? I don’t have a TV.

29. Start a new hobby? No.

30. Will you be happy to see 2016 go? No. 2017 could be worse. In fact, I suspect it will be.

31. Been naughty or nice? Both. Nice on the surface, dark as fuck sometimes beneath the surface.
Tags:

(no subject)

You have 7 missed Voicemails (1322 words) by kapachiramasama
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Eric Bittle/Jack Zimmermann, Shitty Knight & Jack Zimmermann
Characters: Shitty Knight, Eric Bittle, Jack Zimmermann
Summary:

Shitty calls Jack a lot, and leaves a lot of voice mails behind, because that's what best friends do.



Because sometimes, a fanfic is so unexpectedly brilliant, so pure, that you just have to rec it immediately:

“Dude I just saw the biggest fucking bird in the world. Holy shit, you should have seen this fucking. Like the size of a fucking tire. Jesus, I think it was carrying a fucking dog in it’s talons. I’ll send you a picture I took, but goddamn. I think it was like a pigeon or something? I don’t know. But hey I’m driving down tonight with Bitty so call me if our plans changed. Love you, kid,”



“I bet. It’s okay, Shits, I’m here now,” He said, patting Shitty awkwardly on the back. Shitty squeezed his best friend even tighter, rubbing his face into his sweater.

“Oh my God, I missed you so much,” He mumbled into Jack’s chest. Jack laughed.

“Ha ha, I missed you too,” Jack said honestly, even though it had been less than two weeks. Before Bitty, all skin to skin contact was exclusively with Shitty, and had been completely platonic. Sometimes you just need hour long cuddles that didn’t give you a boner.



“Do you think it’ll scar?” He asked.

“Your bruise? Don’t think so,” Shitty buried his face in Jack’s sweater again.

“Oh my god you smell like cinnamon and dreams,” He mumbled.

“Thanks,”

“Your haircut makes you look like a Calvin Klein model from heaven,”

“Okay, I’ll take your word for it,”

“You hug like a father of four who genuinely wants his kids to know they’re loved,”
Tags: